Scorpius Malfoy is going to kill me
by The-Hufflepuff-Death-Eater
Summary: Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy are dumped in the Muggle world. Two    enemies. One summer. No magic. Let the fun begin.  I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

It started with that stupid quill.

Well, actually, all of this started before we were even born, but the

latest bit of tourture Malfoy has brought into my life started with a

quill.

Charms O.W.L.

The last test of the year. Finish this, and then I was free.

Tap.

_The proper incantation for a Cheering Charm is:_

_a)_

Tap.

_For a Cheering Charm is:_

_a) wing-_

Taptap.

_a) wingardium _ _leviosa_

_b)_

Tap.

_b) Finite incan-_

TapTapTap.

_b) Finite incantat-_

Tap.

Oh, that is _IT_

I turned around and gave Malfoy my perfected Glare Of Doom. Dad says I

look scarily like mum when I do it, but I think it's more like Nana

Molly's.

Either way, it usually has people cringing away and doing what I want.

Malfoy just smirked at me, and tap, tap, tapped his stupid quill on

the table.

Keep calm, Rose. Just because the Glare didn't work doesn't mean you

can't beat him. Oh great. I'm talking to myself now. Next thing you

know, I'll be getting a Dark Mark and dancing around You-Know-Who's

supposed grave like those freaks do every year.

What was I talking about again?

Tap.

Oh. Right. Malfoy.

I pictured the way he was sitting, streached out in his chair, with

his legs almost touching my chair.

A swift backwards movement of my foot made a pleasent thump, and he

gave a hiss of pain.

The tapping had stopped though, so that was goo-

Tap.

I'm going to kill him.

I whipped around in my chair, wand out, but he was ready, and

deflected my jelly-legs jinx, (what? I thought it'd be funny!)

It rictochrd off his spell, and hit poor Issy Thomas, a Hufflepuff

As I turned my head to apologize, I found myself upside-down.

He was smirking, the git.

"Happy with ourselves, are we, Malfoy?" I muttered, as I shot a hex at

him.

After that, it was all a blur of lights and dodging behind desks.

"MR MALFOY! MISS WEASLEY!"

Oh crap. We got McGonnagal mad.

"Have a biscut."

Um. What?

"Have. A. Biscut."

How does she make her face DO that? It's calm, but you know that at

any moment she could fly into a rage.

It's probably best not to make her even madder. So I took a Ginger

Newt and sat down.

She looked at us over her glasses and sighed.

"This is the twelfth time you have been dueling this month!"

And it would have been my eighth victory, if she hadn't stopped us.

"You have damaged a very old and valuable tapestry, Miss Thomas

was caught in the crossfire, and Madam Pomphrey STILL hasn't figured

out what's wrong with her!"

Malfoy snickered. That git! I don't normally like fighting, or hurting

people. But with Malfoy, it's a different story.

"Not to mention how this reflects on the school! If you continue with

this sort of behaviour, you very well might find yourselves in front

of the Wizengamot in a few years!"

She stopped, adjusted her glasses, and continued.

"So, to ensure that this does not happen again, you will both spend

the summer in a Muggle village."

Well, that didn't sound too bad. A free vacation, away from Malf-

" You will each have to give up your wands, to ensure there is no

danger of revealing yourselves to the Muggles, and your lodgings will

be at-"

Wait. What?

"Professor? How would we reveal ourselves, if we aren't going to be

near eachother?"

Wow. Malfoy just made a good point.

Maybe I should go look out the window for a flying pig.

"Youll be sharing a Muggle...ah, 'apartment', I belive they're called."

No. Nonononono. This is not happening.

"But Professor", I started desprately,

"No buts. You WILL learn to get along."

I'm going to die.

I'm serious. Even without magic, Malfoy will figure out a way to kill

me. He's a quick learner, I'm sure he can work out how to use Muggle

weapons.

Help

Me?


	2. Chapter two

**Wow. I leave for a couple hours and come back to eight new fanfiction notices. So. Erm. THANK YOU! I'm just starting on this, so reviews are welcome! I apologize for the weird spacing. My WordPad is acting screwy. I also think my computer might hate me O.o Anywho, I shall start on the new chappies straight away! **

**I do not own. The most awesome person ever does.**

**Chapter two: Crazy laides, cryptic teachers, and Malfoy stole my bed**.

My family hates me. This is the only explination for why I'm standing

outside a Muggle apartment buliding with Malfoy and McGonagall.

I thought dad would put his foot down. Me, spending the summer with a

Malfoy? If I had asked to do this, I'd be dead by now. But all he

would say in his letter was that "House unity is important." or, "We

don't want another war, Rosie. Fighting like this started the last one."

Way to make someone feel good, dad. Tell them they could start

Wizarding War III.

So, I packed my trunk, told my family and friends goodbye, and

considered writing a will. Lily had stopped me though, saying if I

died, she'd "Take REALLY good care of your things. Espaically your

clothes. But only the cute ones. The rest can go to Roxy."

And now here I was. McGonagall was fumbling with the Muggle keys, but

finally, she got the door open. The lobby was empty, save for a bored

looking guy in one of the chairs, and a perky looking old lady. She

bounced over to us happily.

"Oh yes, are you the new residents? So lovely to have you here! We

hardly ever get such nice young people!

Have you just been married then?"

Bahahahaha! Married! That was a good one. I struggled to hold in my

laughter while I waited for McG to correct her. But she didn't appear

to be listening.

"Yes, yes."

She said vaugly, pushing our luggage over to us. "You can show them

where they're staying then? I've just had a urgent message, I must get

back..."

"Oh yes of course! Come now, dearies, I'll show you along. Bradley!"

she snapped at the bored looking guy.

"Put this luggage up in number seven.!"

He pulled himself out of the chair, and started loading our things

onto a rickety cart.

"Now then, right this way duckies." she called, already halfway to the

lift.

It was a silent ride. I think I heard her chattering, and Malfoy

giving one word answers, but it was fuzzy. I was going mad. They

thought we were married! This couldn't be happening. It had to be a

dream. A really, really bad dream.

"Malfoy, pinch me." I whispered, as Miss-happy-old-lady led us down

the decrepit hallway. "This is all a nightmare. If you pinch me, I'll

wake up."

He eyed me like I was mad,

but seemed to think it was worth it, because next thing I knew, my arm

was stinging painfully and Malfoy was smirking again.

This isn't a dream. Nononono.

This is bad.

"Now then! This is your apartment, lovely little thing if I do say so.

Two bedrooms, altough I don't see why you'd need another one, a

bathroom, and a great area. You luggage should be up shortly, and if

you need anything, just give me a holler."

I looked at it. It was alright. A bit dank and dark yes, but at least

nothing was alive.

I stuck my head into the first bedroom. Small, but neat. A twin bed, a

desk, and some bookshelves.

The next one was about the same, but with a large cabinent instead if

shelves.

"Malfoy!" I called, not really caring where he was. "I get the room

with the...bookshelves." I sighed. He was lying on the bed in MY room,

still smirking.

"Why, hello there Weasel. Like my room?"

"I saw it first, Ferret." I growled.

"Ah, yes, but _i'm _ the one in it. So, it's mine. Have fun in the other

one. I think I heard something rattling in that cabinent."

"Okay, Malfoy. We're stuck here weather we like it or not. We can keep

trying to kill each other, or we can just ignore each other until we

get to leave. Now, the ignoring appeals to me, because it means I

don't have to see your face."

"Works for me too Weasel. See you in September." He shut the door in

my face, leaving me to get my bags from sullen Bradley. I left his

where they were, in the doorway. He could find them himself.

Then I shoved my trunk to the foot of my bed, pulled out my pajamas

and got dressed, then lay down. Switching off the light, I wondered

how I was ever going to survive this.


	3. Attack of the evil microwave

**Hey! Another chappie! A bit shorter than the others, but i'll be ading another one soon. **

**The Imperius curse I put on Rowling doesn't seem to be working, so I still don't own Harry Potter. Yet.**

"WEASLEY!"

I groaned and pulled the pillow over my eyes. Maybe if I ignore him, he'll go away.

"WEEEEEEAAAASSSLEEEEY!"

No such luck. What happened to ignoring each other?

I stomped out of bed and into the kitchen to find Malfoy hiding behind the table while the open microwave spat popcorn everywhere.

"Um...Malfoy?"

"Weasley! He lept up and dragged me over to the microwave.

"That package had a picture of the box on it, so I put it in and hit a button, but then it started attackinng me! You fix it!"

I tried not to laugh at him, I really did. But he looked so funny with popcorn in his hair, and his eyes wide with fear.

"Hey!" he said indignantly, as I rolled on the floor gasping for breath. "Its not MY fault. It's the stupid Muggle box!"

"Malfoy," I wheezed, "You're supposed to shut the front of the microwave."

"Of the what?"

"The microwave. That's what the box is called."

I started gathering up the loose popcorn on the floor and putting it in the bin.

"Are you going to help?" I asked, but he was already examining the TV.

"Do you put food in this too?"

I gave up on the popcorn for now. Without a wand cleaning would take forever.

"No, you watch shows."

"Shows?"

I walked over and switched it on.

He looked mesmerized.

"Its like pictures...but they're talking..."

It was easier than arguing.

"Sure. That's right."

Then an idea hit me. It was perfect.

"C'mon Malfoy."

"Where are we going? I like this picture!"

"We're going exploring. It's time to show you the Muggle world."

**I tried to write more, but the story wanted to end here. If you want **

**another chapter really soon let me know.**


	4. Chapter Four

**So, someone pointed out that microwaves don't work with the door open. This is a good point. One I don't really have a answer to. So, I'm going to say that the supressed magic made it work even with the door open. Plus, I'm the author. Maybe in my world microwaves work differently. Maybe.**

**Anywho, onto Chappie Four!**

**Daring escapes, Muggle phones, and I can't resist the puppy-dog eyes.**

After getting Malfoy to put on Muggle clothes so he wouldn't stick out (not a task for the faint hearted, trust me), we had to figure out how to get out of the building without being ambushed by Old Lady. (Note: find out what her name really is, anyway.)

"Hey Weasel, did she lea-mumph."

"Shhh!" I reprimanded, only taking the pillow off his face after he nodded.

"I don't think she ever leaves." I whispered. She was puttering around the lobby, watering plants and straighting cushions.

"Maybe she's a Squib who's here to spy on us."

I looked at him. That might actually be true. What is it with Malfoy and the good ideas all of a sudden?

"Quick! She's gone to get more water! Hurry!"

We got halfway across the lobby before the door handle turned.

Looking at each other frantically, we dove for the same couch at the same time.

"Malfoy!" I hissed, trying to get enough room-underneath the couch was small enough without having to share it.

"Find your own hiding place!"

"No way Weasel! I got here first!"

"Shhh! She's looking!"

We ducked our heads and held our breath.

"Okay, I think she's gone. On three, we run for it."

"Got it."

I peeked out again. No sign of her...

"One...Two..Three...go!"

We sprinted madly for the door, wrenching it open and running down the street.

Finally we collapsed on a bench, gasping for air and laughing our heads off

"That...was...close..." he gasped.

"Tell...me...about…it" I wheezed.

And for a split second, it felt like...friendship. Sitting there laughing our heads off, it was nice. But then reality kicked in. He was Ferret, and I was Weasel. And we WEREN'T friends. It didn't work that way.

He seemed to remember at the same time. His eyes darkened and his face closed off.

"Fine Weasel. Where are we going?"

I glared at him.

Then I got an idea. A evil, evil idea.

"Just a little store I know..."

"Hey, Weasel! What's this one do?"

If I heard that one more time, I was going to kill him.

At first, taking him to the shopping centre had seemed funny. I figured the overload of Muggle stuff would make him shut up. It didn't.

He was waving around a camera phone.

"Weasel! What about this-augh!" he almost dropped the phone, covering his eyes from the flash.

"It attacked me!"

I rolled my eyes.

"It just took your picture Malfoy. See?"

I held up the phone.

He examined it for a minute than shrugged. "It doesn't move." he said, disappointed.

"I told you Malfoy! Muggle pictures don't move."

"Well Muggle pictures are boring. Ooo! What's THIS one do?"

The clerk was looking at us suspiciously.

"It takes videos too."

"Videos...?"

The pictures on the TV this morning."

His face lit up.

Oh no. This can't be-

"Can we get it? Please?"

He widened his pale blue eyes in a way that made him look like a puppy.

No Rose! Don't do it! Don't succumb to the eyes!

"Fine."

No! Bad Rose!

I walked up to the clerk.

"We'd like one of these."

He disappeared into the back and came back with one of the phones.

As he started it up, he watched Malfoy, who was examining one of the computers.

"Strange friend you got there."

He said, as Malfoy hit a button and the computer turned on. His face lit up.

"His parents are Amish." I said quickly.

"Thanks, here you go."

I gave him the money and grabbed Malfoy's arm. "Come on Malfoy, we're leaving."

"But it just turned on!" he whined as I dragged him out of the store.

"We got a phone. You don't need the computer."

"Fine." he pouted.

"I'm hungry."

I was too.

"Alright, let's go to the food court."

"The what?"

"Its like the Great Hall. You eat there."

"Oh, okay."

We sat down at a cafe, and Malfoy looked around.

"Where are the House-Elves?"

"Muggles don't have House-Elves. They cook their own food." I looked over the menu.

"What do you want?"

He just looked at me blankly.

I pointed to the menu in front of him.

"Pick something in here, then when they come ask what you want, tell them."

"That's weird." he muttered, disappearing behind his menu.

"That's Muggles." I retorted. After ordering, (Malfoy didn't make _too_ much of a scene) I relaxed. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

_**Ping!**_

What was that?

_**Ping!**_

I opened my eyes to find Malfoy had taken the phone and was taking pictures of me and...giggling? Malfoy could giggle?

"Malfoy!"

"What?" he said innocently, taking another picture.

"Stop it!"

"But I need to learn how to work it." He was giving me the Puppy-dog eyes again.

They won't work on me this time Malfoy!

"Well take pictures of something else. Something not me."

He pouted.

"Are you done eating?"

"Yeah."

I left some Muggle money on the table and stood up.

"Where're we going?"

"We both need more Muggle clothes. We're going shopping."

"What about-"

"No."

"But-"

"No"

"Why not?" he whined

"Malfoy, Muggles wear shorts, or they wear sweaters. Not both."

"Muggles are weird." he muttered under his breath.

"Here," I handed him a pile of clothes. "Try these on."

Still grumbling about "stupid Muggle stores" he went into the changing room.

"Much better." I approved. "We'll take these." I said to a asisstant. Leaving Malfoy to pay-they were his clothes, after all- I headed to my favorite Muggle store.

I was just paying for my things (and wondering where he'd got to) when Malfoy ran up to me grinning. This could not mean anything good. "Weasley!" he yelled, pulling on my arm. "Hurry up and come look at this!" He waited impatiently, jumping from one foot to the other. As soon as I took my bag, he dragged me to...

"A pet shop?"

"Just come see her!" he called over his shoulder.

I found him next to a amused looking worker with a blond ponytail, **(A/N Hello there blatent self insertion, nice to meet you!) **cuddling a little grey kitten. "Isn't she adorable Weasley?" he mumbled into the kitten's fur. "Yes..." I said cautiously. "So we can get her then?" "Malfoy! We can't just buy a kitten! What about when we go back to Hog-school?" I finished, remembering the Muggle.

"Aw, please Weasley? Pleeeeeease? I'll feed her, and play with her, and when we get back she can stay in my dorm!" No Rose. Don't do it. Don't do it! He doesn't know anything about kittens! What if he kills it?

"Please, Rose?" Darn it. He used my name. And the Puppy-Dog eyes. I need to figure out how to resist that.

"Fine."

He grinned.

'Thankyou! Thankyou thankyou thankyou!"

He rushed up to the front with the kitten, and I picked out a litterbox and some food.

It was a pretty quiet ride back to the apartment, with him talking to Nymphadora, (I was suprised he named her that, but he said his dad was always going on about how cool she was.) and the taki driver and myself both giving him I-know-you're-mad-but-I'm-going-to-ignore-you looks.

When we got inside, creepy lady was nowhere to be found. We hurried upstairs and locked the door behind us. Malfoy started setting up all of Nymphie's things, and I sat at the table watching them. All in all it was a pretty good day.


	5. Chapter Five: The suprising letter

**Chapter Five: Cute Muggle boys, Grocery Shopping, and a suprising letter.**

For a few days, Malfoy and I did okay. He spent most of his time playing with Nynphie, and I unpacked and decorated.

Then one morning I found Nymphie yowling outside his door. Scooping her up, I knocked.

"Malfoy? You okay?"

"Just go away Weasel!"

I frowned. He'd been halfway nice lately. What happened?

"Nymphie is crying." I tried.

"Well feed her then. I don't care."

"Fine mister grumpy pants. We'll go have fun without him won't we Nymphie?"

Oh great. I'm talking to the cat now. I guess I had to snap sometime, living with Malfoy. I just didn't think it'd be this soon...

I fed Nymphie, then looked through the fridge for something to eat. Nothing.

"Malfoy!" I yelled. "We're going to the store!"

"You go!"

Okay. That's it.

"Listen here Ferret, just because i'm the one who knows about Muggles, it does NOT mean that I..." I trailed off as he finally opened the door.

"I'm. Not. Going." he spat, then slammed the door in my face again.

What is WITH him today?

Fine. He could find his own food.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice Scary Lady until she was right in front of me.

"Oh hello there dear! How are you? I've hardly seen you two at all since you arrived, but I suppose you've been busy!" She winked.

Oh Merlin.

No.

She thought-

No.

I did the only sensible thing left when a prying old lady thinks she knows about what you're doing with your enemy.

I bolted.

I stopped halfway down the street when I remembered I didn't know where the market was.

"Need some help?"

I jumped, whirling around, my hand going for my wand that wasn't there- thanks to McGonagall-but it was only a Muggle guy.

"Whoa there, I won't do anything." He said in a scared voice.

"Sorry. I'm just a bit on edge, this old lady at the place where I'm staying keeps chasing me down and asking me things, and-"

"Maplewood apartments?" He asked.

"Yeah..."

He grinned.

"That's my Gran-you're right, when she wants to know something she won't rest until she does. Josh Radcliffe" He finished, holding out a hand.

"Rose Weasley."

"Nice to meet you Rose. I'm staying with my gran for the summer-just got here yesterday."

"Nice to meet you Josh. Do you happen to know where the market is?"

"Yeah, it's just a couple blocks east. I'll show you."

"Thanks." I said gratefully, following him to a nice looking market. I grabbed a basket and headed off to shop. Josh followed. "You don't have to help if you have other things to do. I'm a big girl."

He smiled. "Its a long way back to the building. You'll need someone to carry the bags." He pretended to flex his muscles.

Laughing, we set off. It was nice. Quiet, he didn't talk much, and he was more serious than Malfoy, but nice. Why was I even thinking about that Ferret anyway? He was being a right git at the moment. I should enjoy spending time with the incredibly fit Josh. I must be going mad if I was worrying about _him_. Pushing it to the back of my mind, I spent a nice few hours shopping.

"And then, then Gran goes up to mum, and she says, how's the cat, dear?"

Bursting out laughing, I let Josh and I into the apartment. I dropped the bags onto the table and we sat down.

"Your Gran sounds funny, if a bit crazy."

"Yeah, she's interesting alright."

'Weasel?"

Oh no. Why? Why couldn't he just be his stupid sulking self for a little bit longer?

Josh was looking at me funny.

"Is that your...?"

"No! No, that's just Malfoy. We hate eachother, but our parents are making us stay together for the summer. They think it'll make us get along."

The Ferret himself sulked into the room. Spotting Josh, he glared.

"Malfoy, this is Josh. His Gran owns the apartments. Josh, this is Malfoy."

"Nice to meet you." Josh held out a hand. Malfoy just glared at him then turned to me.

"Weasel, can I talk to you for a minute? In private?" He added pointedly.

"Just a minute" I smiled at Josh, then followed Malfoy into the hall.

"What?" I said, crossing my arms.

"Thats a Muggle! You can't just bring him in here!"

"I can do whatever I want, Ferret! It's not up to you!"

"Tell him to leave!"

"No!"

"Uh, Rose?"

I whirled around.

"What?"

Josh looked hurt. Oops.

"I...I've gotta go...I'll see you."

"Bye" I said miserably, as he practically ran for the door.

I sat down on the couch again.

"Thanks a lot, Malfoy."

He ignored me, heading for the food.

I sighed, then went to go write to Lily. A bit of gossip would cheer me up. As I went past his room, a bit of parchment caught my eye.

No Rose.

Snooping is bad.

You shouldn't do it.

Oh, what the heck.

I snuck into his room, grabbed the paper, and hightailed it back to mine, locking the door.

It was a letter.

_Scorpius,_

_I have only just found out about this atrocity, but rest assured, I will be doing everything in my power to_

_make sure you are removed as soon as possible. In the meantime, do not have ANY contact with the_

_Mudblood. Your Father might think this is acceptable, but I certainly do not. _

_Sincerely, Lucius Malfoy._

I was in shock.

I thought Malfoy wasn't like his family! Sure, he was a git, but he just hated me because I was me-not because of my parents-.I was about to go confront him when I saw that there was writing on the back.

_Grandfather._

_You don't need to-_

_I'm perfectly fi-_

_It's alright, I'll sta- Rose isin't that bad, an-_

_I'm staying. Don't write me anymore._

_-Scorpius_

**Ooooo! What's going to happen now?**

**:D I'll update again soon.**


	6. Chapter Six

**Mmmm. Caffine. I love it. And I can't write without it. So let's all give coffee a big round of applause.  
I know this is short. I'm sorry. I _might_ put up another later today. **

**Chapter six: Don't think about his hair, Snooping, and overall sneakiness.**

Staring at the letter dumbstruck, it was a few moments before I egistered Malfoy pounding on my door.

"Weasley! Did you go in my room?"

I opened the door and held up the letter.

"Care to explain this, Malfoy?"

"I...that-that's mine!"

"No duh."

"What were you doing in my room?"

"Snooping." I shrugged. "You still haven't told me about this."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. It looked soft and silky and-No! Bad Rose! Don't think about his hair! Think about the letter. Letter, not hair. Letter letter letter letter

"Weasley...I can't stand my grandfather. I've had to put up with him for years, always going on about how I'm a disgrace, and how Mafoy's don't get sorted into Ravenclaw, and now this. I...I just wanted him to quit it."

He looked up at me with those big shiny eyes and I could feel my resolve slipping.

Don't look at the eyes don't look at the eyes don't look at the eyes...

"Why were you being such a git today then?"

Good Rose! You avoided the eye-

Darn it.

They got bigger, and more pleading. "I was in a bad mood, I'm sorry!"

"Fine."

I handed him back the letter, and headed for the kitchen.

"Oh, Malfoy?"

"Yeah?"

"Dont think I didn't notice that you used my name."

"Malfoy?"

He looked at me blearily. It was three in the morning, after all.

"Whazgoinon?"

"There's something rattiling around in my wardrobe. Will you go look at it?"

"Fine."

He got up and shuffled over to my room.

"I don't see anyth-Hey!"

I locked the door quickly. Streching out on the bed, I grinned.

"I told you when we got here. This is my room!"

He stomped off, muttering about what he would do if he had his wand.

Grinning, I went to sleep.


	7. Kidnappings, movies, and more letters

**My computer ate the beginning of this chapter, my mum gave me a hourlong lecture about how i'm going to make my evil little brother depressed, even though **_**he's**_** the one that's been tormenting **_**me**_**, and we're going home soon, so I have to pack...Anyway, writing this made me happier. So I hope you like it!**

**Chapter Seven: Malf-Scorpius kidnapped me, Muggle movies, and letters from Hogwarts.**

I turned over, not ready to wake up yet. It was too early.

But I could feel something _watching _me. I opened one eye.

And screamed.

Malfoy's face was five inches from mine, wearing a maniac grin.

"I guess you found a way in, then?"

He just kept grinning.

"Yep."

I sighed.

"Just go ahead and gloat, Malfoy."

His grin got even bigger, if that was possible.

"Nah. I think I'll just do...this!"

He grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder, then headed out into the hall.

How is he this strong? He's not even on the Quidditch team!

"Malfoy! Put me down!"

I hit his back with my fists as he headed to the lifts.

He just smiled.

Freak. No one is this strong.

"Please Malfoy?"

Josh's gran looked at us funny as he stepped into the lobby, but Malfoy smiled at her, and she just waved.  
Traitor.

"Malfoy! Put me DOWN!"

"Scorpius."

"What?"

"Call me Scorpius."

He turned his head to look at me.

Oh wow. Eyes. Don't look at them-too late. So pretty...

"Scorpius," I breathed.

"Nope. This is too much fun. But you did say it very nicely."

Ugh! Git!

"Where are we even going?"

I asked, as he turned the corner.

"You'll see."

"Aren't you getting tired of carrying me?"

"Nah. You're too light. Don't you ever eat?"

I ignored him.

"I'm not talking to you until you put me down."

"Okay."

He just kept walking.

After about the twelfth Muggle looked at him like he was kidnapping me, I tried again.

"Please put me down, Scorpius?"

"I thought you weren't talking to me?"

"Well now I am."

"We're almost there anyway. I'll put you down then."

Finally, he stopped in front of a cinema.

"I found out that those pictures on the Muggle box are here too! But they're bigger!"

I smiled in spite of myself as I straigtened my clothes-thank Merlin I fell asleep in them yesterday-and tried to tame my hair.

"You kidnapped me from my bed to go see a movie?"

"Yep." he said cheerfully.

"Alright. Let's get this over with."

I led him into the building and bought the tickets while he stared with wonder at everything.

"Come on Malf-Scorpius. It starts in ten minutes."

"Okay."

We sat down, and the previews came on. I mostly watched him, and his reactions more than the movie (Something about the Muggles idea of Occlumency.)

**(A/N Hehe. Occlumency. Guess which movie i'm talking about?)**

It was funny to see his face when something big happened, or when he thought a piece of rubble was going to hit him. Afterwards, we walked back to the building, him talking all the way about how great it was, and how maybe Muggles weren't so bad after all.

"And that one part with the-"

"Okay! It was a good movie. I think you made that pretty clear." I teased.

He looked at me sheepishly. "Sorry. I just didn't know Muggle things were that good!"

"You should see my Grandpa! He _loves _Muggle stuff."

We walked to the lifts, me explaining the effects to him.

"Okay, but couldn't they just use a real one, and then Reparo it after?"

I unlocked the door and shook my head.

"No magic, remember?"

"Oh right, I for-hey, whose owl is that?"

A handsome tawny owl was sitting on the table, watching Nymphie with a look of disgust as she tried to reach up and swat him.

Scorpius picked her up, and I took the letter from the owl, who ruffled its feathers indignantly and flew away.

"It's from Hogwarts." I said noticing the coat of arms on the back.

I opened it.

_Dear Mr Malfoy and Miss Weasley,  
__As it has been a week, a teacher shall be there on Saturday to check and make sure you have not damaged the building,  
__or alerted the Muggles. Please do not give them any trouble.  
__Sincerely,  
__Minerva McGonagall, Hedmistress._


	8. Food fights, angry cats, and Neville

**I had a totally different idea for this chapter. But Rose and Scorpius **

**started throwing food around. So I gave up.**

"What's it say?"

I handed it to him.

"Just that they're coming to spy on us. Make sure we didn't blow anything up."

He scoffed.

"We may be stupid, but we're not THAT stupid."

"At least, one of us isn't..." I teased.

"Oh, very funny. Really mature, Rose."

I stuck my tounge out at him.

"Hungry?" I asked, pulling out a package of spaghetti.

"Sure." he raised a eyebrow at the food.

"For lunch?"

"Why not?" I shrugged, starting the water.

"You do the sauce, I'll make the noodles." I continued.

"Why do I have to cook? Can't you do it?"

"Do I LOOK like a House-Elf?"

"Well, you do have the ears, and your nose is a bit-"

I threw a piece of noodle at him. It landed on his hair, and he started jumping around, swiping at his head to get it off.

"Not the hair! Not my hair!"

I giggled. He was such a _GIRL_ when it came to his hai-

Splat.

No.

He did NOT just fling sauce at me.

Oh, he's going to die.

Picking up another handful of noodles, I aimed at his face.  
He ducked, and they flew past a startled Nypmhie, hitting the window.  
He threw a piece of garlic bread, hitting me in the shoulder.  
Within a few minutes food was everywhere, Scorpius was hiding behind  
the couch, and Nymphie was on top of the fridge, glaring at us.

Clutching the last roll, I stalked around the corner.

"Come out, come out wherever you are, Scorpius! You can't hide forever!"  
I crept up behind him, supressing a giggle. He was looking in the other direction, spoonful of sauce at the ready.

"Yahhhhh!"

I flew at him, but he turned around at the last seconed, eyes wide.  
We hit the floor in a tangle of limbs, and I dropped the roll on his face.

"I win." I singsonged, trying to get up.

"Er, Rose?"

I turned.

Uncle Neville was standing in the door, looking at us in disbelif.

Then I realized how it looked. We were both on the floor, me straddling Scorpius.

I shot up, blushing fiercly.

"It's not what it looks like!"

"Yeah! Uh, we were fighting, and Rose jumped me-"

"And then he turned around before I could-"

"So what happened was-"

"Really?"

Uncle Neville cocked an eyebrow.

"Because I won't say anything to your parents..."

"No! Really, we still hate eachother!"

"Totally." I agreed.

"Okay..."

He looked around. Noodles and sauce were dripping off of everything,  
Nymphie was hissing at us from the fridge, and rolls were in some  
interesting places.

"What say we clean this up, and I put it in my report that everything was fine?"

We gave him relived smiles, and he swept his wand over the room, Vanishing the food.

"Thanks Uncle Neville."  
I hugged him.

"Yeah, thanks Professor."  
Scorpius looked uncomfortable.

"No problem. I remember a few incedents in my school years. Once, a  
_Mimbulus Mimbletonia_ exploded on the whole compartment..." He trailed off.  
"Well then, I'll see you in a couple weeks for the next inspection.  
And if you change your story, I still won't tell your parents."

He winked.


	9. Lost cats, gossip, and rain

**I've been a bad person. I haven't updated in...a long time. And this chapter probably isn't worth the wait. But I upped the romance!**

As soon as the door shut behind Neville, I collapsed on the couch, burying my face in the cushions.

"That was awful." I groaned, my voice muffled.

"Aw, it wasn't so bad." He sounded undisturbed.

I lifted my head to glare at him.

"Wasn't so bad? My uncle thinks we're snogging! Or worse!"

"Yeah, but he said he wouldn't tell anyone, so we're good."

"No! We're not! If my parents start to pry, he'll crack and tell them everything!"

"Well, let's hope they don't pry."

"Ugh. I'm going to go write to Lily. See you later, Scorpius."

"Bye."

There was a new letter from Lily on my desk, and her owl, Athena, was perched on the wardrobe. (which I'm pretty sure is haunted, by the way.) Picking it up, I lost myself in the details of the conversation she overheard between Harry and Ginny, and how much of a raging "Scarlet Woman" Al's new girlfriend was.

I was just getting to the good part (Exactly what James was REALLY doing when he missed the last Weasley dinner) when Scorpius burst into my room.

"Nymphie is gone."

I looked up.

"Did you check the top of the fridge?"

"Yes! I looked everywhere! She's GONE."

He looked ready to either kill someone or cry.

"Okay. We'll check the rest of the apartment, and if we don't find her here, I'm sure she's still in the building."

Five hours later and I'm standing in the pouring rain, calling a cat.

He's done it. He's finally driven me mad.

I looked over at him. His hair was plastered to his head, dark with the rain. Water was dripping off his eyelashes and into his silvery eyes. Mesmerised, I barely registered him saying something about going back. He trailed off, looking at my hair. "Its all wet." he said softly touching a dripping curl with one finger.

"Because it's raining, silly."

His eyes blinked, and grew closer.

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until his finger moved to my cheek, and his lips brushed mine.

He smelled like sunshine, I registered briefly, before all rational thought flew out the window in favor of 'I'm kissing SCORPIUS MALFOY.'

"Mrrow?"

We broke apart instantly. A bedraggled Nymphie was sitting in from of us, looking at us as though WE had put the rain there.

"Nymphie!"

Scorpius picked her up happliy, snuggling her against his chest.

"Well that's nice. Abandon me for the cat, why don't you?" I teased.

He laughed and kissed me again.

Kissing Scorpius Malfoy in the rain-what a clichè I'm becoming.


	10. Teachers, Memory Charms, and letters

The next few weeks were strange. We were only around Muggles, so we  
didn't have to sneak around. Scorpius could take me on real dates  
without worrying about my family killing him.  
It took me a few days to get over the fact that this was SCORPIUS, and  
I was me, and it shouldn't work.

But it did work. Scorpius was softer, less arrogant than his father.  
He had a wicked sense of humor-I'd woken up more than once to find  
he'd booby-trapped my room-but he really was kind. And smart. Merlin,  
was he smart. I guess you don't get to be a Ravenclaw for nothing, but  
this was a bit scary.

"Rose!"

He interrupted my musings with a panicked yell.  
"What?" I hollered back, too lazy to get up.  
"The letter came. They're sending a teacher again on Friday!"  
"And?"

"And this time they're interviewing the Old Lady to see if we've been  
fighting!"

Bugger.

I got up, dislodging a sleeping Nymphie, who gave me a withering stare  
as she trotted away-probably to scratch up my things some more-and  
headed into the kitchen where Scorpius was holding a letter bearing  
the Hogwarts seal.

"They can't do that. If they ask, she'll tell them that we've been  
getting along a little TOO well."

"I knew it was a bad idea to sit out in the lobby the other day. I  
told you!"

"Didn't stop you from trying to snog the entire time, did it?  
I retorted, examining the letter.  
An idea-a evil, perfect idea-started forming in my head.  
"Scorpius..." I said slowly.

"Yeah?"

"You can do Memory Charms, right?"

"I'm the best in our year!" he replied, some of his old Malfoy smirk  
creeping into his voice. I pushed him.

"No need to get cocky, mister I-begged-my-roommate-for-a-kitten."  
He glared at me and continued.

"But we can't do memory charms without a wand."

"Oh, we'll have a wand.".

"But..."

"Trust me. Here's what we're going to do:"

I whispered the plan into his ear, a evil grin spreading across his  
face.

*gzzzzt* "Target is entering building, over."

I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Scorpius, we don't need the walkie talkies if we're in the same room."

He pouted.

"Put them away for now. Please?"

He obliged, stuffing the new Muggle device in his pocket. After I'd  
told him the plan, he'd insisted that we'd need them. I'd learned by  
now that it was easier to just go along with it. He could pout like a  
five year old when he wanted to.

"Mr Malfoy? Miss Weasley?"

Slughorn said, looking perturbed at even being here. The teachers must  
be fighting over who had to come check on us if HE'D been the one  
they'd chosen.

"Oh hello professor. How are you?" I said politely.

"Fine, fine. Let's get this over with-Miss Weasley!"

I had (very convincingly, if I do say so myself) slipped to the floor,  
my eyes closed and holding my breath.  
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Slughorn bending over to check my  
pulse, and Scorpius sneaking the wand out of his pocket.

"Stupefy!"

I rolled quickly out of they way as Slughorn fell to the ground.

"Quick!" I hissed. Scorpius magicked a blindfold on him and handed me  
the wand. I snuck out of the room, pocketing the wand.  
First was Old Lady. I raised the wand, aiming at her back. "Obli-"

*gzzzt* "Ferret to Flower, how's it going? over"

Old Lady whipped around-way too fast for someone her age, if you ask  
me-as I quickly hid the wand.

"You alright, dear?"

Cursing at Scorpius in my head, I smiled at her.

"Just fine. Scorpius and I are just trying out these for my nephew."

I held up the walkie-talkie innocently.

"Alright then dear. If you need anything, just ask."

As soon as she turned her back the grin slid off my face. "Obliviate."  
I whispered.

Satisfied that the spell had worked, I hightailed it back to the  
apartment.

"Scorpius!" I growled at him. "You almost made Old Lady notice the  
wand. No more walkie-talkies. Ever."

"But-"

"Never. Now help me with him, he's waking up."

We levitated Slughorn to the couch, just in time.

"Miss Weasley? Mister Malfoy?"

"Professor Slughorn! Are you alright? You just collapsed!"

"Probably from your stink, Weasel."

Scorpius jeered, looking at me apologeticly over Slughorn's shoulder.

"Oh, very funny Malfoy. I bet you-"

"Now, children. No fighting." Slughorn muttered distractedly. Pulling  
a clipboard out from somewhere, he scribbled something.

"Right then. I'll just be interviewing your landlady, and I'll be off.  
Ah. So then. No more fighting." he called as he hightailed it out the  
door.

I sank down on the couch wearily.

"Thank Merlin THAT'S over."

"Yeah, I think I did pretty well" Scorpius said smugly, plopping down  
next to me.

" _I_ did well, you prat." I  
muttered, hitting him with a pillow.

"Alright! You did well too! Just don't hit me!"

Laughing, I kissed him.

"So, today we learned-"

"No kissing in the lobby."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"No, we _learned_ that we should maybe TELL people? Instead of sneaking  
around Stunning teachers?"

He opened his mouth to reply...

**And the chapter ends. :D Don't kill me! So, tell me. What should Scorpius say? I'll  
****still be working on this, but I might start a new Castle/Firefly one.  
****So updates may take a bit longer.**


	11. UPDATE: SORRY!

UPDATE:  
First let me say that I'm REALLY, REALLY sorry for leaving you hanging  
like this, and it's wrong. I am writing, just slower, because I have  
things going on that take up a lot of my time. I'm also trying to get  
caught up on my other fics that I started and then left.  
I'm working on this though, and you can expect a update within a week  
or so. If I still have readers by then. And THANK YOU for all the  
lovely reviews, you are all awesome people. 


	12. Merlin, its like bloody Romeo and Juliet

**Here 'tis! Not too long of a wait! And i'll try to update at least once a week from now on.  
Reviews are lovely...**

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that."

I whirled around. "Josh? How did you get in here?"

He held up a key. "Gran owns the building, remember? And like I said,  
you don't have to worry about telling your parents. Weasley and  
Malfoy? Not very common names. Not too hard to look up. I had a little  
trouble contacting them-does your family even own a phone?" he  
directed at Scorpius. "But I got through eventually. You look  
suprised. Thought I was too dumb to figure it out? Decided you'd go  
with your "'flat-mate?'" Josh snorted. "Did you honestly think I was  
that stupid? Like any parents would really send their teenage kids to  
live together. And now it's all coming down around you. Maybe next  
time you won't just leave a guy hanging around, waiting for you while  
you snog some prettyboy."

He spat out the last word like it tasted bad, and stalked out.

I tried to go after the git and knock some sense into him, but a arm  
blocked my way. "Scorpius!" I struggled, but his freakish strength was  
no match for my wimpy arms. I REALLY should have taken up Quidditch.  
"Let me go so I can find him and tear him to shreds!"

"Rose." He sat me on the couch gently. I'd given up struggling, but I  
folded my arms and glared at him.  
"Listen. I want to go kill him just as much as you do, but if he's  
told our parents, then they'll be here soon. It's already bad enough  
without adding murder to the list of rules we broke."

Stupid Scorpius and his bloody Ravenclaw logic. Add in the puppy-dog  
eyes that I've given up fighting, and it's impossible to be mad at him.

"Scorp, what are we going to _do_?"

"We'll tell them the truth." he said decisevly.

"Scorpius. They hate each other. Merlin, this is like bloody Romeo and  
Juliet."

He wrinkled his nose. "Didn't they kill themselves?"

"Yes, but the point is, they were in love. It's romantic."

"Doesn't sound very romantic to me." he muttered.

"okay. We need to focus. Our parents will be here soon. We have to-"

"ROSE NYMPHADORA WEASLEY!"

Too late.

Help me? 


	13. Sneak peek of chapter 12

**A sneak peek of the next chapter of _Scorpius Malfoy is going to kill me_**

* * *

I froze with the mug halfway to my lips.  
Draco Malfoy was in the kitchen.  
Draco Malfoy. Scorpius' father.  
In the kitchen.  
I wonder if it's possible to hide in a coffee mug? 

* * *

**Oooo! I'm about halfway done with the next chapter, so you shouldnt have long to wait!**


	14. That's it All parents are insane

**This chapter is for Julia Erwelin, because her review made me do a happy-dance and then chain myself to the computer so i could finish this. Now, some people will say Draco is acting OOC, but I like to think that even if he still didn't like the Weasleys and the Potters much, it didn't mean he wouldn't be a good dad. After all, he was-like Dudley- a product of his enviroment. Enough with the rambling that you probably scrolled past, onto the story! Alons-y!**

I shuffled into the kitchen, following the beautiful scent of coffee.  
I sure needed it, after a night like the one i'd had. I had now decided that whatever was in my wardrobe was nocturnal. And loud. A vauge shape  
handed me a mug. "Mmmm. Caffeine. Thank you..." I tried to figure out  
a way to see the coffee-giver while exposing as little of my eyes to  
the stupid sunlight streaming through the kitchen window. Bloody sun. Who did it think it was, shining so flipping bright this early? Someone should go put it in it's place. After a few  
seconds of light, I gave up. "Person."

"Well, you're quite welcome."

I froze with the mug halfway to my lips.  
Draco Malfoy was in the kitchen.  
Draco Malfoy. Scorpius' father.  
In the kitchen.  
I wonder if it's possible to hide in a coffee mug?

"Erm."

He looked positively _cheerful._  
"It appears it's my day to watch you two."

I had almost forgot. You see, after my father burst into the flat with  
all the delicacy of a Skrewt, we found out the reason they were angry  
was that we were sharing a flat while together. Well, that, and Dad  
still didn't like Scorp's parents much. I'd figured they'd take us  
home. I was already planning on how to be able to see Scorpius when  
they dropped the news that finally convinced me: Parents are insane.  
It's not their fault, after the stress of the War, it was bound to  
happen. Because really, there's no other explination for why they  
would they think the way to solve this was by moving into the flats  
down the hall and take it in turns to babysit us.

"Rose? Are you up yet? Ooo! Coffee!"

Scorpius, cheerful and fully rested, walked into the kitchen and  
pulled Nymphie off the counter.

"Morning Dad. You pick the short straw?"

Mr. Malfoy sat himself at the table. "Actually, I chose to come over today."

Scorp snorted. "Yeah, and Rose and I got married."  
I hit him.

"Someone's tetchy today." he muttered.

I glared at him. "You would be too, if something lived in your wardrobe and made demon noises all night."

'Would you like me to have a look at it?" offered Mr Malfoy.

I gaped at him for a few seconds. This was Draco Malfoy. The Muggle-hating git from Dad's stories. The one who teased my mother daily when they were in school. Sitting in the kitchen, drinking tea, and offering to help. I was right. All parents have finally snapped.

* * *

"Now, I can't be sure, but it looks like a Boggart. Although, how it got into a Muggle building I can't say, but it should be fairly easy to get rid of."

Scorp and his father were sprawled on the floor in my room, Mr Malfoy pointing his wand at the wardrobe.

"Maybe it's Narnia Rosie. You could just be hearing that lion that talks-what's his name? Adlan?"

I knew it was a mistake to take him to that movie.

"Aslan." Mr Malfoy corrected.  
My jaw just about hit the floor.

Seeing my shocked look, he chuckled. "C.S Lewis was a wizard. My grandfather knew him. Didn't ever like that he wrote about Muggles, but they got on pretty well."

Okay. That's it. Today is April Fools or something. Sooner or later, someone is going to pop out and yell "Gotcha!" and then my Dad will send me to Azkaban for consorting with a Malfoy, and I'll live out my years slowly going insane. Oh well. At least Hugo won't hog the loo in prision.

* * *

Reviews make me do a happy-dance...


	15. OH MY ROWLING, IT'S OVER sobs

**Oh my Rowling. I actually finished something. This is kind of sad. If I have time later, I _might_ do a sequel. Until then, ta! You lot are the best readers EVER.**

* * *

I pulled my poor, abused trunk out of the car and after struggling with it for a moment, gave up and let it tip over onto the curb. I turned to my boyfriend, hoping he would have a bout of Gryffindor- ishness and lift it, but he was having problems of his own.

"Ow-Nymphie, NO! I-argh!"

He tumbled out of the car with our kitten, Nymphie attached firmly to his face. Suffice to say, she doesn't like car rides.

"Ro-ose!"

I sighed and went over to pry the grey ball of fluff from his face. "You need to be gentler with her." I gathered her up in my arms as she shot Scorp a look of pure hatred. "I am gentle! You're the one who took her out of her cage!"

"Because she was crying! And whenever she cries, you get that _look _on your face, like someone just killed a puppy-That one!" He continued to give me the puppy dog eyes. I'd like to say I'm immune to them by now, but learning how to resist them is pretty far down on my list of things to do.

It's bloody _cold_ here. And foggy. I seem to remember my first year waxing poetic about "fumes sparkling in the crisp September air", but this year I'm cold, and this fog is slowly undoing all the work I put into my hair this morning.

We hurried into the warm air of the train station, and accidentally scarred some poor Muggle child for life by going through the barrier right in front of him. The platform was full of people, looking exactly the same as it had when I rode back this June, mentally prepared for a summer of being tourtured by my worst enemy. I never expected i'd come out of it with a boyfriend, a cat, and a invite to visit Malfoy Manor and watch the Narnia movies.

We lugged our trunks on and sat in our compartment. Alone. Before everyone else got on. With the shade drawn. Before you go and get excited, we were hiding. What do you tell your friends when you come back to school in love wit your ex-nemisis?

"You know..." I started.

"Yeah?"

"Everyone at school still thinks we hate each other. It could be fun to mess with their heads for a while."

An evil grin lit up Scorp's face.

"Rose Weasley, you ought to be a Slytherin."

"I'll take that to mean it's on?"

He kept grinning wickedly.

"Oh yeah. I'll see you in the trophy room at midnight, Weasley."

"I wouldn't miss beating your arse for the world, Malfoy."

"Dream on."

And so began the best school year of my life-in a compartment with my boyfriend, plotting our next duel.


End file.
